I made it through the first week! Well, I guess technically 2nd since I prepped. I feel good still. Especially my mood. I think more so than weight or other physical changes, my positivity is the real winner in the challenge so far. I guess it’s cause I’m finally motivated enough to eat well, sleep well, be well…even if it means giving up some things that I love – or the crutches.
Week 2 – It’s not without difficulty. I have some tough moments here and there. I’ve wanted all the sugars. You ever see that scene in the movie Matilda, where the kid demolished the principals chocolate cake? I’ve daydreamed about that moment, a few times if I’m being honest. I haven’t wanted a drink pretty much since day 2 or 3, that still proved easier than I thought it would be to give up. I think easier also because I have a godfather who has been sober for over 30 years, and I am sticking to this part of the challenge like super glue to honor HIM being able to do that for himself. Dealing with the emotional ups and downs of POF is a challenge itself, and it’s been easy to fall into the spell of anything that will help me forget it for a little while. That doesn’t just go for wine. That goes for the comfort foods I scarfed down while I just stayed in bed doing nothing. Both temporarily “fixed” me. Doing nothing was also a fix. If I sleep, I don’t have to be awake to think about the pain of dealing with this. But then I dream, so I’m not running away to anything better.
I think I’d much rather face my issues walking on a beautiful trail, doing push-ups against fallen down trees, breathing in the smells of dirt and a creek and listening to the peaceful sounds. Now THAT makes me feel better.
I think mentally and emotionally I’m really gonna come out on top from challenging myself to change. I think this will improve my chances of making this an acceptable, and normal part of my life. (Remember, that’s the goal!) Take this quote I just read this morning from an Instagram page I follow – “loving ourselves as we are is one of the most rebellious things we can do.”
As for physical changes I’ve noticed – my face looks less tired, I think. And I’ve had maybe one or two hot flashes in the past two weeks. I have less anxiety since I’ve cut caffeine and sleeping better, which also means less hot flashes. I’m not so sore from tensing my muscles because of the anxiety, too. Less headaches, because I haven’t been drinking. And my boss even said he can tell I’m dieting because I lost weight in my face (though I didn’t recognize that myself) I don’t feel as bloated at the end of the day. I haven’t noticed a real change in energy, but then again this whole exercise thing is kind of fresh for me, so I’m pretty wiped out from it. I had a doc appt the beginning of last month for a sinus infection, and since that weigh in I have lost 7 lbs. So I’m doing something right! I’ll check again this coming Sunday.
Stay tuned as I occasionally add to this entry during the week. And again, thank you to everyone following and supporting me 🙏 And if you’re also taking part in the May Menotox Challenge, comment with your progress!
Today (May 11) marks two weeks without caffeine, almost three weeks without sugar and alcohol, and I’m still holding strong. Every moment that I have a craving, every second that I feel a little frazzled and want that glass of wine, and every time I smell fresh baked cookies..I remind myself how good I feel inside right now and not to damage that hard work. It’s easier to fall back in to that routine than it is to stick to this diet, and they don’t call it a challenge for nothing! I’m still averaging about 15,000 steps a day, my most was over 21,000. I’ve developed a good workout/walk that really pushes me – and tires me out enough at night that I can read a few chapters of my book and fall asleep without needing a drink or a ZzQuil. I also mentioned to my boss the other day that maybe I could shoot for an eventual goal to maybe join a Tough Mudder in the future.
I don’t have to let ovarian failure make me believe I can’t do anything. And now I am taking the necessary steps to take care of my bones and my heart, which is fiercely important with this condition, even on hormone replacements. I think for far too long now I have let myself fall apart, physically and emotionally. I felt like overnight, I aged 40 years inside. Can’t have children. I gained 25 lbs. I had some hair fall out. I was tired constantly. All I did was obsessively look at peoples Facebooks and feel like I would never “get there.” I just wanted to lay around and do nothing, and drink wine.
Eating right and getting some exercise has vastly improved my state of mind and how my gut feels in a matter of just a few weeks, and I should have done this a long time ago. I have people reaching out to me through Facebook, Instagram and this blog and asking my advice, and I feel incredibly proud of that. This is my purpose. I don’t think bad things happen for no reason, I think they happen so you can help someone else face it when it’s their time to experience it.
BRING IT ON MENOPAUSE, BRING IT ON OVARIAN FAILURE, BRING IT ON DAYS THAT I FEEL DOWN, and yeah…BRING IT ON MENOTOX CHALLENGE WEEK 3, BRING IT ONNNN.