Yeah, I’m aware that sounds really weird, but I’m going to explain.
My football team won the Super Bowl andddd let’s just say I’ve been indulging in unhealthy choices since well before the playoffs and my body and hot flashes are not exactly thanking me for it. 🤦♀️ d’oh.
So…football and fertility and how those two things seemed to be brought together in the same sentence, recently. As mentioned above, the Eagles FINALLY brought Philadelphia a championship trophy, and as most sports fans know, we have been waiting a longgg time for this.
We also like to give our fellow conference fans of other teams, a lot of shit when we can (any Giants fans reading, I’m talking about you) and it’s all in good fun, of course. This rings true at my job, I’m a barista and a lot of my customers talk football with me…it’s always a lot of fun during the season.
Two weeks ago, Super Bowl hysteria was in full gear. Like beast mode in my coffee bar. I loved every minute of it, until someone related the hopes and dreams of an Eagles win to that of a couple desperately wanting to have a baby, and not having luck. And deep down that day, I fell the fuck apart. I kind of just want the Eagles to win she said, because I’m just so damn tired of them complaining every year. You know, it’s like a couple going through the infertility process and trying to make a baby. It’s like you’re just so tired of hearing about them trying.
Did….did you..you just compared complaining football fans to a couple who desperately pray to start a family and physically….can’t?
To be completely honest with you, I didn’t handle that part of the conversation well. I mean, I did at the time because it was a customer, I wasn’t about to lunge over the counter screaming obscenities about how completely messed up that comparison felt to me..and I am sure it wasn’t meant to sound as hurtful as it did to me, but it truly did bother me. I like this particular customer, she’s a sweetheart. But, it made me feel exposed all of a sudden, because I couldn’t take what was really meant as a light hearted jab in anyone else’s eyes, as just the jab, and it really got me thinking, is that how people view infertility? It made me wonder, is there an appropriate time to make light hearted jokes about infertility? Do you take that risk with someone you don’t know? Is it okay to not BE OKAY with those jokes? Where is the invisible line drawn for it?
Maybe I was extra sensitive that day. I often try to poke fun at myself for experiencing menopause in my early 30s because sometimes it does make me feel better, and helps me transition in to a conversation explaining to strangers what I experience on a daily basis. But, the infertility part, I feel like that’s my no fly zone. Hell, it would be a no fly zone when I talk to strangers. I couldn’t bring myself to compare touchdowns and two point conversions to IVF injections and temp checks.
I don’t believe infertility, or what lead to it even, should be this unspoken, uncomfortable and weird elephant in any room – but I also don’t think it has a place in jokes, either. I would love to hear input on this. Have you ever experienced something similar? Or reacted like I have? Am I crazy? Don’t be shy…Lord knows my hormones do put me in some off putting moods. But this normal, football poking fun of a conversation suddenly had me asking myself a lot of questions. And made me realize how uncomfortable the topic of infertility can be, and how much I really wish it wasn’t.